Listen up: real guys don't believe in Fairy Tales. Real guys, when presented with a stupid story say "WTF! Prove it, asshole!". Some guys says to me "Yo, Mike. Want to make 100% on your investment?" I knock his ass on the floor to get his attention and then say "You got two minutes to show me that you are not stealing my money, numb nuts". If I don't get the desired explanation (with references and footnotes) in the allocated time that little lying bastard is going to be celebrating Dia de Muertos from the other side. 100% my ass.
So why am I taking your precious time? Simple. We are looking at disaster of unprecedented proportions this November. And you know who I am talking about, don't you. Yup, Mr. Weezer himself, the execrable Rick Santorum. Why am I issuing a Liberal Alert about this clown? Are you serious? Have you been living in a cave in Bora Bora eating grubs for the last year? Jesus Christ, WTF is wrong with you? Pay attention. This guy is claiming to be a conservative. Fine and good. Most real guys are. But to "Prove" it he is taking issues that are complex (and some not so complex) and blathering on like he is a serious Oxy abuser.
OK ... case in point. The American President has a serious-as-death role in leading our charge economically against the ravenous hordes from China, India, Malaysia, Viet Nam (Jesus, can't believe I wrote that) and a host of countries to the east of us (spare me the wise ass comment that "everything is to the East of us, if you go far enough". I got your IP address and I will come and get you). So how are we going to compete? Banging drums in some sort of gay Men's Empowerment Circle? Lighting candles to Gaea? Grovelling in front of some damn graven image? Damn no. We are going to kick economic ass by being smarter and being smarter means science. You with me Amigos? Science means, for those of you who where checking out the cute chick two rows over when you should have been paying attention in High School, the organized testing of contentions. You got that? It means "You got two minutes to show me that you are not stealing my money, numb nuts". It means "show me". It does not mean wave your arms and insist that you are right, it means data, it means proof. The same proof that you want when a Doc is shooting some new drug into you or some clown tells you that they are going to make you rich.
So, what does this have to do with Mr. Weezer? Simple. Read this and don't upchuck on your keyboard.
Rick Santorum proposed the "Santorum Amendment" to the No Child Left Behind Bill. Let me let him tell you what it purported to do.
This is an amendment that is a sense of the Senate. It is a sense of the Senate that deals with the subject of intellectual freedom with respect to the teaching of science in the classroom, in primary and secondary education. It is a sense of the Senate that does not try to dictate curriculum to anybody; quite the contrary, it says there should be freedom to discuss and air good scientific debate within the classroom. In fact, students will do better and will learn more if there is this intellectual freedom to discuss. I will read this sense of the Senate. It is simply two sentences—frankly, two rather innocuous sentences—that hopefully this Senate will embrace: "It is the sense of the Senate that—
(1) good science education should prepare students to distinguish the data or testable theories of science from philosophical or religious claims that are made in the name of science; and
(2) where biological evolution is taught, the curriculum should help students to understand why this subject generates so much continuing controversy, and should prepare the students to be informed participants in public discussions regarding the subject.
It simply says there are disagreements in scientific theories out there that are continually tested.
OK, ladies, what have we here? Seems reasonable, no? No, it sure as hell does not. What he is saying is that religion is on the same platform as science. What he is saying that there is controversy where there is none whatsoever. What he is saying is that he does not understand the difference between contention and proof. What it means is that this despicable Crypto-Liberal does not know what Science is. Dunno but when I look at him I somehow don't think that he spent his youth staring at chicks. Just sayin'. That means that he was listening up in school, that means that he knows better. That means he is trying his damnedest to throw the election. That means that he is a Liberal out to get Obama reelected. Because we all know that a person whose ideas of intellectual discourse are rooted in the Middle Ages will have a wee bit of trouble competing with the atheist eastern hordes. That means that nobody except some religious honkers are going to vote for him. That means Mr. O is back for 4 more. Right?
QE fucking D.
One other thing. I had a real bad thing happen outside a little place named Borci. Who, what when are not important. Thing is a guy named Charlie "Shakes" saved my life, pulled my sorry shot ass out of a bad spot that I had no business leaving. Thing is Shakes was queer as a $3 bill, as the saying goes. Thing is that if Mr. Weezer wants to tell Shakes that he can't get married he is going to have to take the issue up with the Sandman. And it won't go well for him. Chickenhawk bastard.
Why is it that the guys with physiques like a Perdue chicken always seem to be the guys that want us to finish it after they pick a fight?
Another thing, Guy Rule #2: One gentleman never asks another what they do with their private parts.
Sometimes you just don't want to know. That said, it's never your business.
We have a problem this year. We got a moonbeam SOB in this Paul guy, we got a serial adulterer in that Gingrich lout and we got Ken without Barbie in Mitt. Last thing we need is this fifth columnist swine making things worse. As we get closer I'll have more thoughts. You bet your ass I will. Meanwhile, if you are voting, give Weezer a pass.